It Must Be the Coat

Do you remember the scene in Patch Adams when Robin Williams sees himself for the first time in his long white coat? Now, as I recall, he stole it and he wasn't supposed to have a long one yet BUT do you remember that moment he put it on, when he saw himself. Just that MOMENT. It was as if he was seeing himself differently for the first time. He had been working his ass off for years, he knew who he wanted to be, he knew he was changing, becoming, but he hadn't actually stopped to SEE what had been happening while he was so busy. There was a moment. I had one of those today.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the corner of my eye and stopped about two steps passed the mirror. I backed up and looked again. There I was. No frills. Just me. Hair pulled back. Glasses on. I wasn't trying to look like someone. I caught myself busy being someone. I grabbed my phone, because that is what we do in the technology age, right? By October I will be a CPht with an Associate's Degree in Science.




A funny aside, as I was writing this, I remembered a childhood story my mother used to tell me about myself. Yes boys and girls, back in the day, department stores used to actually have shoe salesmen to help you measure your feet and find the right size for you. Well, back in that day, they wore long white coats. Me, deathly afraid of doctors (another story, another psychosis, another time) would pitch an ungodly fit any time she tried to buy shoes for me and she never could figure it out until one day one of the salesmen said, "I bet she hates this coat. It reminds me of a doctor's coat, I hate it too." and he took it off and put it away. From that day on, I wore well fitting Keds for the rest of my young life.