thought oneI can't seem to get my Christmas tree down..... perhaps the embarrassment from this admission will prompt me tonight to do so.... all that is stopping me is a ladder. Its not in an inaccessible place. In fact, its only about 20 feet away from where I need it to be. But somehow it just sits mocking me instead of presenting itself as an opportunity. I found myself jealous of the neighbors who dragged their needle dropping "real" tree to the curb today. I see the allure of being able to just toss it out. , I admit being seduced by the same perks that I was when I discovered disposable sippy cups. I *do* miss the scent of pine in my house. Mine? It breaks apart in 3 "easy" pieces and goes in a box for next year. It smells like plastic... next year it will smell like plastic and dust. But it saves money if I only buy a tree once instead of once a year.
thought twoInternet Friendships- In our new computer world, is it still possible to say they aren't "real"? We often differentiate between IRL and OL friends for purposes of explanation of who the person is in our life. I have noticed that those who are involved with the internet understand without question but those (ie older people like my parents) find it odd and scary that there are people I haven't actually met who are a big part of my life. They absolutely freaked last spring when I met a woman whom I had known for years from my involvement on ivillage. They were certain she was going to kill me. My dad insisted that he accompany me to the airport to meet her and I had to bring her to their house before I could go anywhere else with her. Now of course there ARE axe murderers out there... but this mother of 3 whom I had laughed with, sent Christmas presents to and debated political and social issues with was not. But to explain this new dynamic to people who don't grasp the social opportunities of the internet is next to impossible. I think it would make a great thesis.
So what happens when someone "close" to you dies? Nothing around you changes. Yet there is a void. You go through a silent private mourning. This happened recently. A beautiful, young, intelligent, kind and gentle woman died suddenly from cancer. In a space of a few weeks she went from diagnosis to death. She was an intricate part of a group of people whom I had had the pleasure of posting with for over a year. They are devastated. She was a brief but intense friend to me. She was a voice of reason and a patient ear. We had went our separate ways before she became ill and it happened so fast that I felt the space between us was too great to reconnect. She was surrounded by her physical family as well as many who were still her very close internet family. Today is her funeral. Rest in Peace sweet Mos.
It proves to me just how real internet relationships are. Its a new world. Our family circle is larger now if we take the risk. Our troubles are lighter through the friendships we have and our hearts are broken just as easily. There is no difference. OL is IRL.
thought threeFemale ejaculation- A friend of mine recently discovered that this is not a myth. She is more than a little impressed with this "happening". I am happy for her. She told me that I should investigate for myself. I tilted my head to one side and told her that I doubt it would work for me because I wasn't "into" penetration. There was a moment of silence as we looked at each other as if we were both crazy... then we ordered another drink.
thought fourI registered for college. I am scared to death and can't talk too much about it yet. But for purposes of accountability I am stating it here so if I try to back out my internet family can hold my feet to the fire. I will talk more about this in another post on another day.
thought fiveI erased thought number five...
love,
nina
