Just Around the Corner

My daughter (11) and her best friend also 11 recently had "the movie" at school about the changes in their body. We had a girl talk sitting cross legged on my bed today. We laughed about grown up girl things, so odd that my daughter is a young woman "any moment" now. Then the two of them sang the theme song for me. "Just Around the Corner" I was hysterical.

"Mom," she said, "I think it scarred me for life."

With tears streaming down my face I said, "Just wait till next year when you get to watch the boys video. No one will be able to look at each other in the eyes again for months."

I love tweens. I love that I can talk to them about things like this. I didn't get that benefit with my mother. It was just a scary mystery to me.

I love being a mom.

Higher Powers Sure Have an Odd Sense of Humor Sometimes

Court strikes blow to Wal-Mart in sex bias suit

have you been educating your female children early that they will not have the earning power of their brothers and their fathers to whom they look up to and dream of following in their footsteps later in life? perhaps maybe its time to start? Discrimination has a big umbrella. how will you explain the inequities to them and how will you explain why you are giving them this inheritance and when they ask you what you did to improve it, what will be your answer?

It doesn't have to be this way.

It's Time To Make Our Voices Heard

The full URL from the ACLU

We help run the private sector of our (collectively, heteros included)economy, we work for you, we supervise you, we are your friends, your family, your neighbors, your accountants, your pastors and your co-workers. We prepare your food in restaurants, create music you listen to, we volunteer our time to educate the population from everything to Breast Cancer to art appreciation. We worship beside you. We died for you in battle. We laugh with you in the movie theater. We are NOT an anomaly. ROCK the Census people. Be heard. There is power in numbers.

Yep! I Am One in 10

Discrimination is alive and well. We pass it down to our next generation of children by neglecting to educate them to the reality of the diversity of our world. Today it is estimated that 1 in 10 people are gay. Regardless of whether or not you are homophobic, or find that your religious beliefs exclude the inclusion of homosexuals in your church, if we don't teach our children the facts, it becomes a monster in the closet which they don't understand and think that its scary, abnormal and feel as if they are the only one in the world who is either 1)gay 2) have a sibling that is gay 3) have a parent that is gay. Until we start teaching our children to see and understand the real world, regardless of if we like the world the way it is or not, our children will not be ready to understand it or live in it comfortably.

Here is a snapshot of Idaho:

ACLU Census Snapshot/Idaho 2008

I was in a queer mood, thinking myself very old: but now I am a woman again - as I always am when I write.

Virginia Woolf

Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.

Virgina Woolf

The Difference
One of the things which I have discovered during my journey is that sex is ummm, well, different.

Men, in my experience, no matter their intents and purposes, position their women partners for sex. It has always left me feeling as if I have lost or left or had taken a piece of myself afterwards. Always an undefined overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss. I feel less. I think back over my het history, which has been busier than some and I wonder to myself how there is anything left of me with all the pieces left behind with each futile act of love making there has been. I always wondered why it felt so bad. I don't wonder though, why I kept going. I know why. I always thought it was just me. That I was one of these women who just didn't like it. That the advice to "Lie back and think of England" although told to someone else years before seemed meant for me as well.

In contrast to my rich het history, I can count on one very small finger my experience with women. But even still it was such a dramatic difference that I feel confident enough to say with certainty that it wasn't just me all along. While men position their partners, women dance together. It has a very equal, liquid rhythm. Overwhelming me with connection that I never knew existed. It never seems to have a beginning nor does it end suddenly. I remember waiting for the emptiness that never came, I remember looking at myself in the mirror surprised I was all there. Complete.

I have tried to explain this to my straight friends. I have tried to come up with all sorts of high minded, complicated reasons for it to satisfy even the most educated among them. But the truth isn't complicated or hard to explain. The truth is there is a difference and the difference exists because I am a lesbian.

nina

Every Other Sunday a Miracle Happens...

I go from being a mother of two little beauties to four. The mothers in the neighborhood have collectively decided to put me in charge of their children's religious upbringing. In fact, at my baptism, I only invited these four lovelies to witness. One had never been in a church before and fell in love immediately. The Sanctuary was only lit by four candles one for each girl to light. My girls poured the baptismal water and we all stood barefoot before the Lord. I can't imagine anyone else I would've rather had there than these beautiful young blank slates, standing at the foot of God, I was/am/will always be humbled and honored by their presence. And forever indebted to their families for allowing their children to witness my committment and to hand their babies to me on Sunday to teach. And.... we also have a blast.
All my girls singing or pretending to sing in the pews.



They sing with the band and learn sign language about justice and inclusiveness, or sometimes they just show up. And as Pastor Kim has told us time and again, the most important thing is that you just show up.



And because we preach diversity... Hannah and Samee decided to try "diversity in sitting back down in your seat." They got stuck... they had to excuse themselves to the Narthex to get their giggles out. Truth be told, I might have looked stoic, I wanted to be out there in the hallway laughing at what had just happened.



This is my beautiful life. Every other Sunday my four girls are given/taught the unconditional love of God. The chance to be themselves and to love on "church kitty" who really doesn't belong to the church but comes on Sundays anyway and she always forgets to bring her tail.

No Mo..... But the Girls Caught Niccole

It is so wonderful that Boise has coffee houses and other venues where young people can be included in the most remarkable local talents that we have to offer. Friday night at Buzz, Hannah, Emma and I went for dinner and the kids got to meet and listen to Blaze and Kelly. Hannah requested her favorite song, Diggity Dog. Emma danced with me. (Hannah is too embarrassed by her mother to dance... she IS eleven after all)

Our time is short these days but we make the most of it.

We Don't Call Him Leisure Kitty For Nothing...

This is Amos... the first time I picked him up, he was like a slinky. I swear he is so big that his hind end was still on the floor when I had stood back up with his top part. His purrrrr is not unlike a motorcycle. If my bedroom door is open he decides when I wake up on the weekends. He climbs onto me and slowly makes his way to my face. I am already awake by then because of his purr but I keep my eyes closed. He will sit on my chest and meekly reach out with one paw on my nose and bring his claws out just enough that he thinks it will wake me. I wait for awhile. He will do this several times. I try hard not to laugh. Then the act begins, as I "awake" and he knows its time to begin to lick my hands and then chew on my fingers.

When we first met he would chomp down on my fingers without regard. But after some training, he learned that if he put my finger between the sharp teeth in the front and his back teeth, I would allow him to chew all he wanted.

His is a part of my heart. He even comforts me if he ever knows I am crying. I love him. I never thought I would EVER care for a cat. But we just mesh... meow

We Have Always Been Here.... Always Will Be....

we are everywhere... we always will be...

straighten your legs...

when i was a girl, i did my first float trip down the Jordan river in Utah. we had snacks and a transitor radio in our 2 (wo)man raft. We came onto a small dam. water was low and we got stuck, spilling everything out of the raft including ourselves. the last thing i remember was Chicago singing,

"if you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me..."

then there was splashing and snacks flying everywhere, Chicago faded away in the rapids and the raft floated merrily on its way, while I am stuck screaming in the spill way thinking I had met death in the face. Suddenly, my knee hit something.... i stopped struggling with one of my hands and reached down and felt... ground. huh. ground? i put both hands down and realized that i could touch with my feet. i stood up. the water rushed way below my knees. hummm. not dying, whoda thunk.

moral of the story? Before you give into drowning, straighten your legs and see if you can touch the bottom. you might be surprised.

~nina~

Acceptance of Differences

My beautiful 11 year old daughter has a quote on her wall that says,

"Our differences make us the same."

She may be one of the most insightful, beautiful, intelligent souls I have ever known. May the hard edges of life never shave away her inherent understanding of the reality of life.

Happy Easter Boise UCC Style

Fearless Love