"Fair" is a Place You Take Your Pig

I have been heard saying this to all sorts of complaints from my children about this or that happening in their lives upsetting the imagined harmonic balance of their existance. And I have meant it. Since when does life ever make sense? When has it ever given as much as it takes? Even Steven, Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.... does anyone cut the last piece of cake exactly in half when sharing it with a friend???

But come on now!!! I came home yesterday and had a conversation with my best friend Annie. She begins to tell me about the adventures of her weekend. She had a date, with a man (no accounting for taste that girl), they went dancing at our "all inclusive" dance club. Who does she end up meeting? Lesbians. Now I ask you how does a straight chick, in the company of a man, meet these women? Not just meet them but sit and have drinks with them. She knows their names. I don't meet women that easily! When she and I are out together women assume we are "together" together. I am not really up to cruising the bars alone and I refuse to use a man as a decoy! Its been suggested I start attending an open and affirming church but it feels a little like I would be using the little baby jesus as a dating service.....that feels like a "Thou Shalt Not..." rule.

For heavens sakes I am not chopped liver! I'm not prime rib either... I am more like good stew meat. You know, tender, comforting, versatile, reliable. Wow for a minute I sounded like Lassie. Maybe meat is a bad reference. Think of me as grilled cheese and spicy tomato soup. Now Annie is definitely a looker. She is tall and thin with an over abundancy of thick wavy hair. She is like hot eggnog and a shot of brandy....Annie is definitely prime rib... damn her anyway!!!

So I will say it "Thats not FAIR!!!!!!!!!!"

carry on