National Coming Out/Gay History Month

This was a self portrait of me coming out of the closest available closet, sometime in June of 2006. I was 50 pounds emotionally lighter, joy from head to toe and I had never felt so young.

I wish I could say that coming out was a magic bullet. That the heavens opened up and birds and mice gathered together to make me into the most beautiful dyke ever to walk into a wednesday night coffee house gathering or a Rebecca Scott concert. I came close once, minus the birds and the mice... Perhaps they were busy with Paris Hilton.

Like all intense emotion (thank goddess for most) it fades with time as the realization that the next question which is presented is "now what?" And the answer is as varied as the stars in the sky. Today I am feeling retro. I am going to walk down memory lane with some of my experiences as my journey has moved forward, not always gracefully. Thanks for coming out, to my blog, to the world, to yourself. No matter how trying life can be, we know who we are, we know the power behind the knowledge. And hell, lets face it, gay people are the bomb.


Coming Out



coming out appears to me to be,

a series of leaps and creeps not always in the same direction.

coming out appears to me to be,

aided by the slight of hand of a magician.

coming out appears to me to be,

a lifetime of lefts and rights a constant imperfect navigation.

~nina~



The First Time I said the L word to the internet
In and Trapped and Scared
In and Never Coming Out
Out a Little Bit
Silent Apology
Bargaining for Time
Paying my Dues at Pengilly's
Dear Sweet Lydia I Shall Never Forget You
Asystole Was Not My Intention Here
I Said I Would Never Do It
Out, but only in Boston
Good God Now the Legal System Knows
Opps! Back in Again
God I Slay Myself
Being Gay Ain't All Wine and Roses
Moment of Clarity
Our Realities
Back Into the Closet I Go
Introspection
The Frustrated Lesbian
The Bloom is Off the Rose
Lesbians Breakup, Hey it Happens
Bear Eats Lesbian
Hate Mail
Emotional Graveyards
Out, In, Foot in the Door and Never in a Million Years
The Star Maiden
Divorced
Fear
There are no Rules to Mourning
Nina Waxes On about Butch Women
Out Again
Jill Posener: Head and Shoulders Above Marie Osmond and Dirk Kempthorn
I Will Always be on Meds and Larry Will Never be Gay
Did I Mention Depression?
What is Your Sin?
Whining About My Lack of Social Graces
Day of My Birth
God I Do Go On About Butch Women Don't I?
Someone Always Has to Ask
Well I Thought it Was Funny
My Vagina
Happy Pride
Season of Pride and Appreciation
There are Still Days

If you have made it this far I have news. News fitting the intention of this post. I came out to my dad. I have no more secrets. He kinda stole the wind out of my sails when he said,

"Honey I've have known that for a very long time."

I had this whole angry lesbian diatribe ready... all I managed to say was, "oh..." damned impressive huh?

The catalyst was when I found myself in the ER twice in as many weeks from seizures no one saw coming. I have been diagnoised with epilepsy. They don't know if its transient and may never happen again or any second now I coiuaoijkjngmntrmrduytudakjkmnggrh l;k..... just kidding. But I knew, well I knew before but I REALLY UNDERSTOOD that Gina would have been left with no course of action and relying on the kindness of strangers. I didn't want her to have to tell my parents who she was. That is not her job. That was mine. And I have taken care of it. I love you Gina.